Things To Do While Avoiding the Pro Bowl
I don't have anything against the Pro Bowl. Not generally. Specifically, it's hard to respect an All-Star game which doesn't feature star players from the two teams in the league's championship game. That's a recent conundrum, but even before the Pro Bowl entered the super-bye-week conferences would be quarterbacked by the fifth and sixth selections. Many of the game's top talent found the exhibition of so little priority that they refused a free February week in Hawaii.
The NHL and NBA All-Star games may dominated by offense, but the skills competitions held before the main events compensate for the lack of engaging action. The MLS may be the fifth league in America, but at least it makes a spectacle of it's gala. Bringing in an international club to challenge the best players in the the league is a definitive way to compare the talent level of the still fledgling league. Major League Baseball hosts the grandaddy of All Star events. And though the popularity has dwindled in the past few decades, the game matters now more than ever thanks to Bud Selig compensating for his own poor decision to end a game in tie. In order to restore the credibility to the game Selig so generously embarrassed, Major League Baseball granted the winning league home field advantage in the World Series.
(Which you may hate, but it's still better than the previous system which rotated home field advantage on a yearly basis. Seriously. If some idiot tells you that it used to be based on best record please kindly throw a sandwich at them. They'll need sustenance soon)
The NFL is the dominant league in American sports. It runs the television stations who wish to carry it's programming. Imagine how NBC felt when the NFL informed the executives that the network would be carrying the Pro-Bowl during a Sunday night prime-time:
Roger Goodell- Good afternoon gentlemen. I hope preparations are going well for the broadcast of the Pro Bowl.
NBC- What's that sir. Yes the Super Bowl preparations are going splendidly. Much like Sunday Night Football it will be a force in the yearly ratings.
Roger Goodell- No, I'm asking about the Pro Bowl. Our league's All-Star game which is played a week before the championship. It is stated explicitly in your contract that you will be broadcasting that as a concession for being awarded the Super Bowl.
NBC- Really. Ou lawyers must have just skipped right over that clause? Isn't that show usually on ESPN2? Or MTV, yes we remember watching it on MTV. That Dan Cortese sure is a hoot.
Roger Goodell- I believe you're thinking of "Rock N' Jock Softball". That hasn't been relevant for over a decade.
NBC- What a coincidence!
Roger Goodell- (brow furrowed) If you don't put the Pro-Bowl in primetime we will make sure all future Super Bowl broadcasting negotiations bypass the networks and go straight to where the real money is: Google, Apple and Facebook.
NBC- You wouldn't dare. Facebook can't broadcast. Who would anchor the game? Tila Tequila and Rebecca Black? People won't like, they won't like!
Roger Goodell- (morphing into Jon Gruden face) The Pro-Bowl must be consumed by the masses in primetime. Do this or we'll take our money trough from you Fox and that CSI network. We'll broadcast it on YouTube, Budweiser will still pay for ad time.
NBC- Look, we're sorry for the confusion. I'll make the call to the control room right now. We'll cancel the Michael Bay marathon. I swear.
Roger Goodell- Se that you do. And we'll need some promo slots as well. There's your tagline: "The Pro Bowl, more thrilling than a Michael Bay marathon."
So there's probably a lesson from that story. Perhaps the Pro-Bowl can save America on occasion. Regardless, I didn't watch the game. I doubt you did. Here's a list of things I watched, or thought about watching, instead of the second to last football game of the season... (Wow. Actually, put in those terms that sentiment is terribly depressing. What will we do for six months?)
- Watched my dog as he watches cats. Seriously, he aspires to herd cats. I figure as long as he's not herding squirrels everything will work itself out.
- Watched Newcastle lose to Brighton. I enjoy the FA Cup so this isn't a huge surprise. I would have probably watched this game over any American All-Star game not organized by Major League Baseball.
- Watched "Fallout: New Vegas" freeze and load. Freeze and load. Freeze and wait for it... wait for it. Oh. Crash.
- Watched Thursday's DVR'd episode of "30 Rock". The one where Liz needs a new best friend. I don't know what was wrong with that plot, but that shouldn't be the second episode of the season. That's easily middle of the season filler. But at least it won't be the worst thing on NBC this week, thanks to the Pro Bowl.
- Watching "Young Frankenstein" on Netflix, almost. Seriously, just had to hit the button.
- Watched the fake fire in the fireplace. The soothing calm of electric light and heat powered by the one grounded outlet.
- Watched the computer screen glow with no type on it. Constantly wondering if I should have watched the Pro Bowl.
- Watched "Family Guy". I don't know why anymore, I just did.
The list is an exhausting trip through what seems a deliberate attempt at ignoring the Pro Bowl. Yet, I feel slightly disenchanted. This year the NFL sent two rookie quarterbacks to the game. Whether they should be considered in the top three for their respective conferences is somewhat irrelevant. They represented two of the best stories from this NFL season. Does it really matter that the two rightly chosen quarterbacks missed the game because of a significantly more important engagement? Not really. Considering that the replacement rookies shared the field with sooner-than-later Canton inductees like Tony Gonzalez, Ray Lewis, Charles Woodson, and London Fletcher almost makes the game seem like more than an exhibition.
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