Irrational Fan Rant Week - Day 2 - The Cardinals
Hello and welcome to SportyMcBloggin's "Irrational Fan Rant Week". When we're not making jokes about curling, getting kicked out of bars, or picking fantasy football team names; we do our best to be objective about sports topics ranging from how bad Peyton Manning is in the playoffs, the baseball awards, to the reporting on Penn State.
However, that's out the window this week as we bring you a bunch of
stereotypical fan rants. After all, it's what the internet was created
for.
Day 1 - The Packers
Dear St. Louis Cardinals,
Some period of grace is customary in these situations. It's been less than three months since your organization claimed its eleventh World Series title. That is the second most in the history of Major League Baseball. By a large margin you are the greatest National League club ever. You are royalty, and I shall address you in such a way...
Squires Mozeliak and DeWitt,
What the fucketh dudes? Mike Matheny? Really? You're planning on to replacing Tony LaRussa (who replaced Joe Torre, who replaced Whitey Herzog) with an inexperienced, never sat on a bench, never coached a base, rookie manager? That trifling manner may be suitable for the Pittsburgh Pirates or the Kansas City Royals. But this is the god damn St. Louis Cardinals, the kings of the National League. The fucking senior circuit. You don't replace Elizabeth I with Warren G. Harding, you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't pee on The Dude's rug.
Not there's anything wrong with the character Matheny. He was a great leader, a Gold Glove winning catcher, and he's house trained. I'm sure he'll be a successful manager at some point... but replacing legends with rookies is not the ideal prerogative for the second greatest baseball organization in history. When you let Pujols walk (we'll get there in a second) you got Carlos Beltran. It's not the same as Albert, but it's an acceptable replacement with winning pedigree and remaining potential. You're not moving the team to a warm location, so there's no need to hire a consultant, a tire salesman, or Jeff Fischer.
When Tony LaRussa decided to hang up his cleats you brought one, as in singular, interviewee that was an experienced manager with a championship record. Terry Francona never had a shot at the job, and may not have been ideal for the Cardinals. But there were no other considerations for succeeding your retiring Hall of Fame manager. It is likely of no immediate consequence to either of you. There will be 3 million people through the gates next year, to watch one final run through a weak division. Surely the inherent value of the new World Series trophy will increase the ticket cost of weeknight Pirates and Astros games.
Regardless, the team taking the field will be getting older. Even with the influx of minor league contributors the previous few seasons, the potential core producers are aging: Holiday, Beltran, Berkman, Furcal, Carpenter. Perhaps the veteran climate will help ease Matheny's reign. The new coach will be sharing a clubhouse with two other candidates, with professional coaching experience, who interviewed for the job he currently holds. Hopefully the veteran atmosphere created by the players will overcome any potential rifts originating from the incestuous design of the coaching staff.
The Cardinals have experienced two World Series championships in the last six seasons. The two of you are a formidable pair at president and general manager. But this isn't "rational fan praise week". Letting Pujols walk seemed a necessity from a business perspective. Somehow you managed to spin the image of his greed to the majority of the fan base. Yet it doesn't add up. The Holiday money, the Berkman signing, the continuous delays in negotiating; all are too deliberate to not be planned. The tactics insulted the greatest player in your organization's history. Yes, I said the greatest. Match Albert's first eleven seasons against any Major Leaguer in history. Baseballreference.com already has him ranked ahead of Musial (7 vs 9).
You're lucky that the future Hall of Famer decided to flee to the American League. It is a wormhole to another universe. Other than a bizarro encounter with the goatee'd slugger every few years, his first decade will exist in the memories of Cardinal Nation as they wait for the inevitable Cooperstown enshrinement. Forgiveness will be abundant on that day, praise will be restored, a statue will be erected, there will be Imo's and Ted Drewes for all.
Until that time you must prove your worth to the people who cherish the organization you preside over. Squires DeWitt and Mozeliak, hear me know. You must win. This is your charge. There is one season of a honeymoon for your pet project coach. When the Epstein train begins to roll in Chicago and the easy wins of the Astros disappear from the Central, you must define your legacy. LaRussa and Pujols are gone from your castle.
Defend your keep.
Day 1 - The Packers
Dear St. Louis Cardinals,
Some period of grace is customary in these situations. It's been less than three months since your organization claimed its eleventh World Series title. That is the second most in the history of Major League Baseball. By a large margin you are the greatest National League club ever. You are royalty, and I shall address you in such a way...
Squires Mozeliak and DeWitt,
What the fucketh dudes? Mike Matheny? Really? You're planning on to replacing Tony LaRussa (who replaced Joe Torre, who replaced Whitey Herzog) with an inexperienced, never sat on a bench, never coached a base, rookie manager? That trifling manner may be suitable for the Pittsburgh Pirates or the Kansas City Royals. But this is the god damn St. Louis Cardinals, the kings of the National League. The fucking senior circuit. You don't replace Elizabeth I with Warren G. Harding, you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't pee on The Dude's rug.
Not there's anything wrong with the character Matheny. He was a great leader, a Gold Glove winning catcher, and he's house trained. I'm sure he'll be a successful manager at some point... but replacing legends with rookies is not the ideal prerogative for the second greatest baseball organization in history. When you let Pujols walk (we'll get there in a second) you got Carlos Beltran. It's not the same as Albert, but it's an acceptable replacement with winning pedigree and remaining potential. You're not moving the team to a warm location, so there's no need to hire a consultant, a tire salesman, or Jeff Fischer.
When Tony LaRussa decided to hang up his cleats you brought one, as in singular, interviewee that was an experienced manager with a championship record. Terry Francona never had a shot at the job, and may not have been ideal for the Cardinals. But there were no other considerations for succeeding your retiring Hall of Fame manager. It is likely of no immediate consequence to either of you. There will be 3 million people through the gates next year, to watch one final run through a weak division. Surely the inherent value of the new World Series trophy will increase the ticket cost of weeknight Pirates and Astros games.
Regardless, the team taking the field will be getting older. Even with the influx of minor league contributors the previous few seasons, the potential core producers are aging: Holiday, Beltran, Berkman, Furcal, Carpenter. Perhaps the veteran climate will help ease Matheny's reign. The new coach will be sharing a clubhouse with two other candidates, with professional coaching experience, who interviewed for the job he currently holds. Hopefully the veteran atmosphere created by the players will overcome any potential rifts originating from the incestuous design of the coaching staff.
The Cardinals have experienced two World Series championships in the last six seasons. The two of you are a formidable pair at president and general manager. But this isn't "rational fan praise week". Letting Pujols walk seemed a necessity from a business perspective. Somehow you managed to spin the image of his greed to the majority of the fan base. Yet it doesn't add up. The Holiday money, the Berkman signing, the continuous delays in negotiating; all are too deliberate to not be planned. The tactics insulted the greatest player in your organization's history. Yes, I said the greatest. Match Albert's first eleven seasons against any Major Leaguer in history. Baseballreference.com already has him ranked ahead of Musial (7 vs 9).
You're lucky that the future Hall of Famer decided to flee to the American League. It is a wormhole to another universe. Other than a bizarro encounter with the goatee'd slugger every few years, his first decade will exist in the memories of Cardinal Nation as they wait for the inevitable Cooperstown enshrinement. Forgiveness will be abundant on that day, praise will be restored, a statue will be erected, there will be Imo's and Ted Drewes for all.
Until that time you must prove your worth to the people who cherish the organization you preside over. Squires DeWitt and Mozeliak, hear me know. You must win. This is your charge. There is one season of a honeymoon for your pet project coach. When the Epstein train begins to roll in Chicago and the easy wins of the Astros disappear from the Central, you must define your legacy. LaRussa and Pujols are gone from your castle.
Defend your keep.
Posted by W.H. Patton at Thursday, January 19. 2012 
Categories: Corked Bats, Rants and Raves, St. Louis Scene
Categories: Corked Bats, Rants and Raves, St. Louis Scene
Comments