If Dan Snyder Owned a Baseball Team
There are many people who doubt the cunning business acumen of Daniel Snyder. Perhaps it
is his tendency to acquire past-their-prime stars like Bruce Smith,
Deion Sanders and Irving Fryar. Resentment could be built around his acquisition of unproductive high priced free agents: Albert Haynesworth. Or possibly it's Snyder's impatience with whomever is his current
overpaid coach. Regardless, his team rolls in money. In his 12 full seasons as owner of the Washington Redskins, the most profitable franchise in the NFL, the team has posted a winning record only three times.
Those prospects wouldn't sound to objectionable to a few languishing franchises in Major League Baseball. For the Orioles or the Royals, having a winning record in three out of the last twelve seasons would be an improvement. Assuming Snyder wanted to expand his recipe for sporting success to baseball, he'd most likely select an American League club. The combination of fading superstars and profitable losers conjures up disturbing thoughts of Snyder sentimentally cradling the designated hitter rule. Baltimore is already in the same state as the Redskins stadium. How would Daniel Snyder put his mark on their $86 million payroll if he had to start from scratch during this free agent market?
C- Ivan Rodriguez
Last Season salary: $3,000,000
14 time All-Star, 1 MVP, 13 Gold Gloves
This is a tough decision with both Jorge Posada and Pudge on the free agent market. But considering that Posada had a grand total of 6.0 innings at catcher this season, I'm sure our free spending owner would want to be assured his backstop could guarantee at least 50 times that amount... that covers a full season right? If he needs insurance, I'm sure the young Matt Wieters fella will serve as a reasonable back up.
1B- Jim Thome
Last season salary: $3,000,000
5 time All-Star
Yes, Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder are on the market. But this new management is planning on overspending at every position. If Snyder over-spends on first base there will be no money left for washed up former #1 draft pick pitchers. Regardless, Thome is our Bruce Smith, an aging legend specializing in power stats.
2B- Robinson Cano
Last Season Salary: $10,000,000
3 Time All-Star, Home Run Derby Champ
There's few intriguing names available on the free agent market. Snyder watched Cano destroy batting practice balls at the home run derby and thought Cano would make a perfect cornerstone for his newly acquired baseball team. However, twenty-eight year old All-Star second basemen don't come cheap. Especially when you're dealing with Brian Cashman. So Snyder made the Yankees a deal they couldn't refuse: Adam Jones, Brian Roberts, Brian Matusz, Jake Arrieta & Tommy Hunter. And like that, Cashman was gone. Only to be seen again at the following 3 or 4 World Series trophy presentations.
SS- Edgar Renteria
Last Season Salary: $2,000,000
5 time All-Star, 2 Gold Gloves, 1 World Series MVP
If you want to win in Major League Baseball, you need leaders. Jose Reyes may be available, and younger, but Renteria stroked the winning hit in game 7 of the World Series when he was only twenty. And to prove that he has not been overpaid the entirety of his career because of one hit, he won the World Series MVP in 2010.
3B- Eric Chavez
Last Season Salary: $1,500,000
6 Gold Gloves
Did you know he has never been an All-Star? Did you know he played for The Yankees last year? Neither did we.
RF- Vlad Guerrero
Last Season Salary: $7,600,000
9 time All-Star, 1 MVP
Every player is forever 27 in Daniel Snyder's world. But Guerrero's birth certificate can verify he's forever 26.
CF- Grady Sizemore
Last Season Salary: $7,600,000
3 time All-Star, 2 Gold Gloves
Since most of the career centerfielders on the market don't have the legs for the position anymore, Snyder will have to splurge for youth here. He'll also probably want to splurge for a career injury replacement. Can you say Endy Chavez?
LF- Andruw Jones
Last Season Salary: $1,500,000
5 time All-Star, 10 Gold Gloves
Seriously, how did The Yankees make the playoffs in 2011? They would have been better off with Endy Chavez. Or some aging slugger who can barely play the field...
DH- Barry Bonds
Last Season Salary: $15,500,000 (in 2007)
14 time All-Star, 7 MVP's, 8 Gold Gloves
He never retired. He never stopped working out. He stopped aging though. A trip to the former Soviet block had nothing to do with that. Bonds is not a communist. However, he could be the newest arch enemy of freedom, or Batman.
#1 Starter- Jordan Zimmermann
Last Season Salary: $415,000
He's not a free agent. But Snyder offered four future #1 draft picks for Stephen Strasberg. The Nationals smartly declined, but offered Zimmermann for half of the bounty and Nick Markakis. Done.
#2 Starter- Rich Harden
Last Season Salary: $1,500,000
Once the biggest prospect in the game. He was destined to replace Tim Hudson. He was destined to replace Mark Prior. Now Snyder covets him as the replacement for Justin Duchscherer.
#3 Starter- Brandon Webb
Last Season Salary: $3,000,000 (Did not play)
3 time All-Star, 1 Cy Young
One of the best pitchers in the game until his arm was decimated by injuries. Snyder can rebuild him. He doesn't have the technology, but he has money. And that solves everything. Right?
#4 Starter- Dontrelle Willis
Last Season Salary: $12,000,000 (2010)
2 time All-Star, 1 RoY
Reclamation projects aren't exactly what Daniel Snyder specializes in. Over-paying for injury prone and mentally unstable players? That's more in his wheelhouse.
#5 Starter- Livan Hernandez
Last Season Salary: $1,250,000
2 time All-Star, 1 World Series MVP
Needless to say, Snyder is a huge Marlins fan. If Josh Beckett was available he'd trade Matt Wieters for him. When you're building a staff with so many questions in terms of injury, you'll need a stable innings eater. Hernandez not only eats inning, but by the look of him he eats the entire teams' per diem worth of fast food and bacon bars.
With the starting lineup and rotation set we're sure Snyder would fill the bench and bullpen with the remaining bargain priced, arbitration eligible, youth on the Orioles roster. A rough tally of the payroll for these 14 players comes to $69.8 million. Obviously Bonds and Willis won't command the salaries they received during their last full seasons, but the savings would be passed on to Sizemore and the inflated arbitration costs of the bench.
Much like the Redskins back field from last season (Portis, Larry Johnson, Willie Parker), this team has a strong resemblance to a 2007 All-Star team. Would it be possible to win with this roster? That's not the important question. Would it be possible to win over half of the games in the season, a quarter of the time? That's the appropriate question and the answer is... When do the Yankees and Red Sox come to town?
Those prospects wouldn't sound to objectionable to a few languishing franchises in Major League Baseball. For the Orioles or the Royals, having a winning record in three out of the last twelve seasons would be an improvement. Assuming Snyder wanted to expand his recipe for sporting success to baseball, he'd most likely select an American League club. The combination of fading superstars and profitable losers conjures up disturbing thoughts of Snyder sentimentally cradling the designated hitter rule. Baltimore is already in the same state as the Redskins stadium. How would Daniel Snyder put his mark on their $86 million payroll if he had to start from scratch during this free agent market?
C- Ivan Rodriguez
Last Season salary: $3,000,000
14 time All-Star, 1 MVP, 13 Gold Gloves
This is a tough decision with both Jorge Posada and Pudge on the free agent market. But considering that Posada had a grand total of 6.0 innings at catcher this season, I'm sure our free spending owner would want to be assured his backstop could guarantee at least 50 times that amount... that covers a full season right? If he needs insurance, I'm sure the young Matt Wieters fella will serve as a reasonable back up.
1B- Jim Thome
Last season salary: $3,000,000
5 time All-Star
Yes, Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder are on the market. But this new management is planning on overspending at every position. If Snyder over-spends on first base there will be no money left for washed up former #1 draft pick pitchers. Regardless, Thome is our Bruce Smith, an aging legend specializing in power stats.
2B- Robinson Cano
Last Season Salary: $10,000,000
3 Time All-Star, Home Run Derby Champ
There's few intriguing names available on the free agent market. Snyder watched Cano destroy batting practice balls at the home run derby and thought Cano would make a perfect cornerstone for his newly acquired baseball team. However, twenty-eight year old All-Star second basemen don't come cheap. Especially when you're dealing with Brian Cashman. So Snyder made the Yankees a deal they couldn't refuse: Adam Jones, Brian Roberts, Brian Matusz, Jake Arrieta & Tommy Hunter. And like that, Cashman was gone. Only to be seen again at the following 3 or 4 World Series trophy presentations.
SS- Edgar Renteria
Last Season Salary: $2,000,000
5 time All-Star, 2 Gold Gloves, 1 World Series MVP
If you want to win in Major League Baseball, you need leaders. Jose Reyes may be available, and younger, but Renteria stroked the winning hit in game 7 of the World Series when he was only twenty. And to prove that he has not been overpaid the entirety of his career because of one hit, he won the World Series MVP in 2010.
3B- Eric Chavez
Last Season Salary: $1,500,000
6 Gold Gloves
Did you know he has never been an All-Star? Did you know he played for The Yankees last year? Neither did we.
RF- Vlad Guerrero
Last Season Salary: $7,600,000
9 time All-Star, 1 MVP
Every player is forever 27 in Daniel Snyder's world. But Guerrero's birth certificate can verify he's forever 26.
CF- Grady Sizemore
Last Season Salary: $7,600,000
3 time All-Star, 2 Gold Gloves
Since most of the career centerfielders on the market don't have the legs for the position anymore, Snyder will have to splurge for youth here. He'll also probably want to splurge for a career injury replacement. Can you say Endy Chavez?
LF- Andruw Jones
Last Season Salary: $1,500,000
5 time All-Star, 10 Gold Gloves
Seriously, how did The Yankees make the playoffs in 2011? They would have been better off with Endy Chavez. Or some aging slugger who can barely play the field...
DH- Barry Bonds
Last Season Salary: $15,500,000 (in 2007)
14 time All-Star, 7 MVP's, 8 Gold Gloves
He never retired. He never stopped working out. He stopped aging though. A trip to the former Soviet block had nothing to do with that. Bonds is not a communist. However, he could be the newest arch enemy of freedom, or Batman.
#1 Starter- Jordan Zimmermann
Last Season Salary: $415,000
He's not a free agent. But Snyder offered four future #1 draft picks for Stephen Strasberg. The Nationals smartly declined, but offered Zimmermann for half of the bounty and Nick Markakis. Done.
#2 Starter- Rich Harden
Last Season Salary: $1,500,000
Once the biggest prospect in the game. He was destined to replace Tim Hudson. He was destined to replace Mark Prior. Now Snyder covets him as the replacement for Justin Duchscherer.
#3 Starter- Brandon Webb
Last Season Salary: $3,000,000 (Did not play)
3 time All-Star, 1 Cy Young
One of the best pitchers in the game until his arm was decimated by injuries. Snyder can rebuild him. He doesn't have the technology, but he has money. And that solves everything. Right?
#4 Starter- Dontrelle Willis
Last Season Salary: $12,000,000 (2010)
2 time All-Star, 1 RoY
Reclamation projects aren't exactly what Daniel Snyder specializes in. Over-paying for injury prone and mentally unstable players? That's more in his wheelhouse.
#5 Starter- Livan Hernandez
Last Season Salary: $1,250,000
2 time All-Star, 1 World Series MVP
Needless to say, Snyder is a huge Marlins fan. If Josh Beckett was available he'd trade Matt Wieters for him. When you're building a staff with so many questions in terms of injury, you'll need a stable innings eater. Hernandez not only eats inning, but by the look of him he eats the entire teams' per diem worth of fast food and bacon bars.
With the starting lineup and rotation set we're sure Snyder would fill the bench and bullpen with the remaining bargain priced, arbitration eligible, youth on the Orioles roster. A rough tally of the payroll for these 14 players comes to $69.8 million. Obviously Bonds and Willis won't command the salaries they received during their last full seasons, but the savings would be passed on to Sizemore and the inflated arbitration costs of the bench.
Much like the Redskins back field from last season (Portis, Larry Johnson, Willie Parker), this team has a strong resemblance to a 2007 All-Star team. Would it be possible to win with this roster? That's not the important question. Would it be possible to win over half of the games in the season, a quarter of the time? That's the appropriate question and the answer is... When do the Yankees and Red Sox come to town?
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